Its about Time not Speed

So, last evening, my "2am friend" and I went to the woods early on in archery season here in North Carolina.  ***Just in case you are wondering, a "2am friend" is something every, godly man needs -- someone that will drop whatever they are doing to come help you in times of need and someone that will hold you accountable to living the right life.***  He took one of his boys with him and we enjoyed a nice, slightly warm September evening.   I enjoyed it more because I was in the shade!!!

Quite honestly, we were eagerly anticipating this hunt.  A few weeks earlier, we found this picture on one of our trail cameras:

While we did not get the chance to see him, let's just say it this way -- the woods came alive!!  As my buddy said on the way home, we, at one point, we almost surrounded by deer.  We both heard a deer blowing and snorting at something but could not see it.  Then, I saw movement to my left as three deer were coming in from a direction that neither one of us would have expected.  I heard the dreaded foot stomping for awhile and then they bounded off in the opposite direction showing those white tails.  A few minutes later, my buddy and his son had more blowing and snorting behind them.  There was movement everywhere -- except right in front of them on that bean field, which is where they wanted the deer to be.

Needless to say, things were getting entertaining.  I was paying attention to the ruckus over near his stand and then heard running through the woods -- on the opposite side of the creek bank that I was facing.  I slowly shifted into a ready shooting position with my Wicked Ridge crossbow.  ***For the record, shoulder pain has forced me to use the crossbow this archery season and I miss my Quest QS33 compound bow.***  Slowly, the sounds descended into the bottom; and, finally, I saw a doe step out.  I raised my elbow off my thigh to an unsupported shooting position as she was moving ever closer to the shooting lane where I was planning to shoot.

Something caught my eye to her left, and, out of nowhere, came another deer.  I was in trouble!  The picture below is of "Knob" (the nickname I gave the deer).  He is not a deer that I would normally shoot but notice that strange black bulge between his shoulders.  We were not sure what that was and decided that it may be best to go ahead and take him out.

Here was the problem -- he was staring and me, ears spread wide, and he was not budging one bit.  He stood rock solid staring right at me up the ridge because he could feel something just was not quite right.  Any lowering of the crossbow or any other movement would spoil this hunt.  I know how long I can hold a bow drawn, so it was time, I guess, to find out how long I could hold the crossbow.

He would take a small step forward, but his eyes never left me.  He quickly turned around, so I slid the crossbow his direction.  At that moment, he started to walk away giving me a negligible shot, and I had one chance to pull the trigger.  THHWHHACK!  Both deer took off, and I could not see the bolt in the ground.  I had hoped for a total pass through, but no bolt mean I had a hit.  The sounds seemed to indicate that animal was down and struggling with the bolt, but I could not see him.  Some texts were being exchanged, yet I was going to sit tight. 

I started chuckling as my buddy was sending texts that his son was "dying to go track that deer."  A few minutes later, it was stated again and again.  The next text asked about now, could we come now.  Then, the text advised that we go now while we still had daylight and did not have to track in the dark.  I was laughing out loud at that point because I knew he was advocating for his eager son.  I slipped down, found the blood trail, followed it, and there was the deer behind a big log.  As I moved back down to that creek bottom, I sent a text saying to come down.  They must have jumped from the stand and ran through the woods because they were there at no time.

Here's where the title of the post comes into play -- it would have been faster to say I found the deer, take them to it, drag it out, then go home and clean.  After all, it was during the work week meaning I had to be up at 5am the next day after cleaning, processing, and burying the deer.  That decision, however, would have been the wrong one.  We allowed my friend's son to learn to track that deer.  I'll tell you something -- he stayed on that trail.  He lost it only one time but he learned how to backtrack to recover.  He did a great job and eventually found the deer. 

In a parental desire for speed and efficiency, we often short-change our children with quality time that they so desperately need.  This extra effort and time can be used to teach them a skill rather than just "bringing them along" for the ride.  Men, we need to learn to slow down.  We need to model behaviors and action.  We need to specifically teach our kids.  We need to stop taking over to do things faster.  Why?  Think about the patience God demonstrated to us as humans.  We destroyed the relationship but He made a way to reconcile.  We run from Him, but He still waits for us to return.  Since He is our Heavenly Father, we need to the same sort of patience toward our own children.  Now, think about that....

Snowy Leadership

During the month of February when we still lived in South Carolina, we received 6.25 inches of snow.  Now, bear in mind that we lived in the midlands of the state -- just north of Columbia -- and needless to say, snow, much less one that large, is rare for South Carolina.  Quite frankly, however, it produced one of the best days of my life.  My two year old had a blast standing at the window watching it snow and, more importantly, he enjoyed his time plodding through it with daddy.  As it typically the case for southern snows, they don’t last long.  Most of the snow melted during the day, but right after supper, I took him outside for one last walk.

As we wandered through the woods reliving what I used to do as a boy when it snowed, I had a chance to do some personal reflection.  It was amazing watching him, and he taught me several lessons about leadership.  In sum, there are 4 “Ps” that every leader must consider, and I’ll share those with you below.

Perspective — on our stroll, I would plot the path for us to follow because I am much taller, which afforded me the opportunity to see ways through the brush.  A leader must set the direction for his followers with a mission/vision, goals, and strategies.  That vision needs to be shared, because if it is not, you’ll hear what my son said several times:  “Dada, this way!”  He persisted in going his own way at times, so I would reinforce the “vision” with him:  “Son, snow is this way!”  That was enough to turn his attention back to what we were doing, and he would come running with his mouth wide open and slobber going everywhere.  He wanted the chance to hear the crunch of the snow under his red boots.  As a neat part of the story, the boots that he wore were his mother's when she was his age!  The resulting picture below is one of the most precious that I have....

Pace — as leaders have established the perspective for those following, pace is key.  If a leader gets too far ahead, their actions are counter-productive.  Never forget that leadership is a team event and not an individual one.  So often, people to be “valuable leaders” but leave those following them in the dust.  That choice, effectively, means they have lost.  The key is for everyone to finish leaving no one behind.  My son would stop to play in the snow, and, using my devious mind, I decided to test this theory a bit.  While wearing camouflage and it being nearly dark, I’d slip ahead of him and hide in the brush; but most of the time, he’d spot me.  One time, though, it worked.  He stood up, could not see me, and panicked.  He was looking everywhere and yelled “dada…Dada…DADA!!”  When I whistled, he found me and ran right where I was.  At that point, I had stopped leading my son and my “policy” caused him undue anxiety.  When leaders lead, they do so with others in mind.  

• Jesus did the same thing for His disciples.  He pushed them into situations that they should have been prepared to handle, but He then came alongside and taught them when they revealed faint faith.  Look at Matthew 8:26 as the disciples faced a troublesome storm and Jesus calmed it for them while later teaching them -- adjusting to their pace -- more lessons that they would need later in their lives. 

Patience — if we have portrayed our perspective and have our pace at the proper setting, leaders still must exhibit patience.  Sometimes, people will just choose to go their own way or will get distracted.  We are human and those things happen, but a leader’s response to those situations make all the difference.  Do not use a person’s mistakes as a time to trample them but use it as a teachable moment.  We learn from experience, and often, those experiences are hardships.  As an example, my son would see me and the path that I paved for him, but would halt and exclaim “what’s that?”  He would stop and dig or snap a stick or would do whatever he wanted.  I would wait for him; however, every now and then, he’d get himself into a tight spot.  Instead of just going to get him, I’d get close to him and guide him out of those issues.  It was amazing to watch him encounter similar situations and remember how we got out of that the last time — he learned from experience but it took patience to teach him.

Partnership — more importantly than anything else, leadership is about people.  As I said earlier, leadership is a team event not an individual one.  My son would not take my hand at all while outside, but, when he fell down and could not get up with while wearing those snow boots, I’d hear “Dada, help!”  If we ever see someone needing help and they ask but we refuse, we’ve just lost credibility and word will spread.  Let's go even further here, God's Word tells us that if we know to do good and refuse to do it, then we have sinned (James 4:17).  Leaders, although at the top, are there because of those “under” them.  My dad told me to be very careful who you step on while climbing the corporate ladder because you’ll pass them quickly in your fall to the bottom.  That’s sound advice from a person only with a GED and who worked in a textile mill his entire life.

Who would’ve ever thought that snow would be such a powerful learning experience on leadership in life.  Being a father is a taxing and tiring responsibility, but it has powerful implications for future generations.  These small walks in the snow will be remembered by our children.  Always use these "natural" opportunities to teach the little ones about Jesus.

Tunnel Vision

 

Recently, I lived through 3 pretty tough hunting seasons where everyone I know, except me, had shot deer. On a very cold November morning, I was pretty excited.  I had been sitting in the stand for an hour before sunrise and had about reached my limit (you know, when you can no longer feel your toes and was angry because you should have put on that extra pair of socks).  Honestly, I had pulled my smart phone out of my pocket and was perusing the internet -- not the greatest of strategies if you want to shoot a deer.  Then, I heard something rustling in the thicket and looked up.  Four deer emerged from that thicket and began to work on my little mineral block completely oblivious to my presence.

I picked out the largest doe, stood quietly, and readied for a shot.  I drew my bow and followed my normal pre-shot routine.  Most people close an eye to aim, but I do not.  I use both eyes to site the bow and select the proper yardage pin.  My last thing I do before releasing the arrow is to close my non-dominant eye.  It creates tunnel vision for split second as everything around me ceases to exist.  That intense concentration controls my breathing, slows the heart rate, and removes all distractions.

As I let that arrow fly knowing that meat was headed into the freezer, the seconds that followed did not seem right.  That deer did not jump like an arrow had struck her, and they all bolted.  I stood there stunned unsure of what happened, and the next minute seemed like an eternity.  I quickly nocked another arrow in hopes they would circle back around.  As I stood waiting to see what would happen, I processed the shot and was dumbfounded.  Then, I saw it — a branch about 7 yards from where that deer stood was shaking.  My arrow has hit that branch and deflected immediately off target.  Remember what I said about tunnel vision for a split second?  I did not see that branch and it cost me.

Unfortunately, our spiritual journey with Christ is the same way.  When we get caught up in routine (going to church every week or praying at a meal), we fail to see things that can adversely impact our efforts.  The Bible clearly tells us in 1 Peter 5:8 to be sober and vigilant because our adversary is on the prowl looking for ways to trip us up.  The aspect of soberness and vigilance reference a status of constant alert and watching.  Had I not been surfing the internet but had been examining everything that was around me, I may have seen that branch and then selected a different deer or waited till they moved to a different location.  The distraction led to my disaster.

Its the little things that matter most in accuracy and precision for archery and the little things matter in our Christian walk. In the Old Testament, the wisest man that every lived spoke of the "little foxes that spoil the vines" (Song of Solomon 2:15). The same is true of our lives as Christian men, husbands, fathers, employees, and friends.  One of my all-time favorite sayings is this:  "snowballs sting but avalanches kill."  In other words, deal with things while they are small to avoid the major and costly issues later on down the road.

Stop for just a minute and consider these "little" foxes that creep into your life and are counterproductive in your relationships as a man:

• Thinking that coming to church once in awhile is enough
• Looking down on others because you are not as bad as they are
• Ignoring laundry and dirty dishes because that is "woman's work"
• Investing more time into hobbies than family relationships
• Allowing television to serve as a babysitter for your children
• Focusing on the things you want rather than appreciating what you have been given by God
• Taking more things from your friends than you give back in return
• Adopting a "retirement mentality" regarding service in the church
• YOU FILL IN THE BLANK(S) HERE

Be on guard of your relationship with God.  Protect it through alertness.  Preserve it by watching for the presence of pride that grows these "little foxes."

Changing Your Point of View

In having 3 children, the last one being a total surprise, I am waiting for THE big day with my youngest.  I've had the wonderful opportunity for my other two children; however, I still have some time to wait for the third.  What is that big day -- taking them to the woods for the first time.  My wife told me that I could take my kids into the woods hunting when they turned 3.  

When my son hit that age during his birthday month several years ago, I had been preparing for quite some time to go to the woods with him.  I have my climbing stand and a safety harness for me; but, I did not have anything for him.  Knowing that my wife would never allow me in the woods without a way to secure him from falling, I had been experimenting with several leather belts to fashion a harness for him.  I took him into the garage and tested it a few times and it worked (I was also doing that to make sure he would be okay with it).  We had a wonderful snow here in NC, so I knew that right after the snow would be the perfect time!!

As we were walking to the tree stand, my son was crunching just about every leaf he could find.  I motioned for him to stop, but he kept walking.  A big deer jumped up and bounded off in the distance; so he, at least, got to see a deer.  I placed him in the make-shift harness and I climbed the tree leaving him on the ground.  After climbing about 15 feet up the tree, I secured myself to the tree, sat down, and slowly started lifting him toward me.  Everything was going perfectly and then “IT” happened.  He shifted and flipped himself upside down.  My heart dropped because I was afraid that he was going to scream.  I asked if he was okay, and he said yes.  After a pause, he starts giggling and said, “Daddy, I'm flying!!”  He was having a blast!

He sat in my lap for about 30 minutes, and we watched all sorts of birds and squirrels.  He was looking down at the snow and just enjoyed the quiet time in the woods.  He turned around and grabbed my checks to whisper:  “Daddy, go home.”  I knew he has reached his 3 year old limit and began the process of lowering him to the ground.  He tried to jump off the stand because he wanted to fly again.  As I was lowering him down, he flipped upside down again and, shortly thereafter, that giggle started as well.  I enjoyed that time with my son because time alone is few and far between with him.  Below is a quick picture I snapped of us up in the tree….

 

For those of you that wonder about my trip with my little girl, well, it was not as eventful.  By the time she was 3, I had purchased a safety harness; and she climbed up that deer stand like she was born to do so.  Needless to say, daddy was proud - pink camo hat and all!!  As I thought about those events, several spiritual lessons emerged in my mind:

(1)  Life is not a series of accidents because it is a series of appointments (Warren Wiersbe).  As my son, literally, had his world turned upside down, he enjoyed the experience.  Instead of being overcome with fear, he saw this experience as a chance to have fun.  How often do we see the negative side of everything instead of looking for the positive?  The answer is simple — too often!!  We need to remember God's admonition that "all things work together for good to those that love God" (Romans 8:28).

(2)  Changing your point of view is initially unsettling but can be highly enjoyable.  Every time I have been hunting, I have seen the same thing — the world right-side up.  My son, on the other hand, has seen both perspectives; and he laughed both times he was upside down.  Clearly, he enjoyed the change of perspective and it allowed him to appreciate things in a different manner.  Psalm 56:3 tells us that we should trust God when we are afraid.  Look beyond the fear and focus on our Heavenly Father.  That means that we have to shift our focus off self and look at it through the Sovereign Lord of the Universe.  He designed it and is a God of order.  The joy is in letting go of the anxiety by being anxious about nothing but carrying them to God in prayer (Philippians 4:6).

(3)  Solitude is the strength of the soul.  The hustle-and-bustle of “regular” life can be demanding and draining.  We must ensure that we take time to get away from it all at least once a month.  Those times allow for you to clear your mind and see things in a different light.  If we do not take care of our inner spirit, then our external work will suffer.  We gain strength by reflection, and true reflection requires solitude.  As a leader, it is okay to build in “down-time” into your life.  In fact, I would say it is a requirement!  I reference this a lot, but never forget Psalm 46:10 -- "be still and know that I am God."  The first step is the hardest -- being still!  Put time into your life so that you can be still because removing all the distractions is necessary to realize and apply who God really is.